"I love driving around Waldorf thumping some hip hop."
"Are you sure you don't want Joel's autograph instead?"
"Billy drives like an old grandma."
"Cash? He's a...um a pit bull?"
"Watch out I might have rabies!"
"You have beautiful handwriting..."
"How you doin' babygurl?"
"Are you sure you're not from Waldorf? I swear I've seen you so much before."
"I'm the bass player. No one has a crush on the BASS player!"
"People always ask me for a 'Paul Hug'....what the heck is a 'Paul Hug'?"
"I dropped an anvil on Benji."
"Don't get it wrong, we all hate their dad."

With other people:
Paul: "St. Paul is not gay!! He's very, very straight."
Aaron: "Ok, buddy, whatever you want to believe."
Paul: "You're really starting to hurt my feelings."

Interviewer: "If you couldn't be in a band, what would you do?"
Paul: "I'd be a farmer."

From The Young And The Hopeless:
"I wasn't popular in school. I liked to pretend I was, and I would go sit with the cool kids. Then they'd tell me to go fuck myself, and I would realize what a loser I was."
"You know what toy I wish I still had? Nintendo Techmo Super Bowl. I was the fat kid growning up, and when you're the fat kid, you love video games. And Twinkies."
"I used to take piano lessons when I was a kid. One time, I farted during a lesson, and my teacher never came back to my house."
"I met this girl once, she was an awesome boxer. She always came out of fights clean. Then I found out that she wasn't exactly a girl..."
"I used to take piano lessons when I was a kid. One time, I farted during a lesson, and my teacher never came back to my house."
"This cute girl tripped me in the hall back in high school, and everyone thought it was funny. So, the next day, I tripped her on her heels and I don't know what happened to her. I think she died... I don't know."
"Barbies? No... I never played with Barbie dolls..."
"Look, I know a crossdresser when I see one." (on Justin Timberlake)

"Yeah hookin it up"

"Ahh that's fresh isn't it?"

"That's flattering thankyou"

"I would of not started smoking when I was 12 years old..Somkings bad..Smokings bad."

"Ahh Joel's so content"

"boobs just boobs"

"That was a touching moment,I touched some body"

"Great question..We dunno..No Just kiding"

"Some where in their maybe a little more towred's March"

"Interpret it however the hell you want to!"